Working towards my first long term trip

Who would’ve taught that we need so much time to prepare for a trip.
Well, your first trip. Next time you´ll know what to do and take care of.

As time passed by more was thrown on my path which I had to take care off before leaving.
Like finding out I wanted to buy a more compact, high quality camera for vlogging and taking pictures. For that I had to sell my old, but still new one.
When I started to feel positive about this process a friend had send me a message telling me she wanted to buy my camera. Happy me!
Finding a new one was a whole other story. Day after day I did camera research on my laptop.
Making myself crazy in this process.

Last minute I figured out that the best way to keep my stuff safe was a flight bag with a cable lock.
Now a days most of the web shops have a quick delivery, but nothing was less true.
I ordered several locks, but every order got delayed or they couldn’t deliver it anymore.
My father and boyfriend were making me anxious by telling me I would get robbed so I’m taking
every possible precaution. I did find some locks and thankfully the flight bag got delivered after a call to the company.

Next to materialistic problems we have the mental aspect when working up towards a long term (solo) trip.
especially when you have/had certain anxieties..
And boy, did I go through some different mental states, but that’s nothing new.
I went from over excited to doubting everything. From wanting to go immediately to not wanting to go anymore.
The difference NOW from when my anxieties were still strong and my depression present,
is that in these different state of minds I now know what my true intentions are and what I truly want.

I’m not listening to the venomous, overpowering mind, but to my whispering soul and spirit.

I was telling myself it’s not such a big of a deal, because lots of other people are doing this solo traveling thing.
Still, I am my own person and this is a big step for me.
From a social anxious, insecure human being to one exploring a big country on her own.
Talking to people and laughing as much as possible.

Another important thing.. say goodbye to your loved ones.
Because of my ‘depressed, eating disorder period’ I had to rebuild the relationships with my family.
I’m trying hard to let them know I love them.
I thought my mother would just drop me off at the airport and that was all, but nothing was less true.
Lots of hugs, kisses, curious questions and best wishes was what I got.

So say goodbye, you never know what might happen to you or them.
You shouldn’t expect something to happen, but just give them a last loving word or a big smile.
On the morning of leaving I told my dogs goodbye. This was really hard, because I love them immensely and I can’t tell them I’ll be back in 2 months. They might think I’m gone forever.

I am so grateful for my parents and sister taking me to the airport, where my boyfriend was also waiting on me.
What did I do to deserve all of this love?

At the airport the last goodbye kisses, hugs and off I go.

The journey begins..

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