To find out who you are (and eventually find out what you want) you have to go back in time.
Years back in time.
The times when you were a little kid, starting to develop your own personality more and more.
Starting to want. Starting to dream.
Go back to where your personality was as untouched as possible.
Untouched by outside influences like the people around you, the people you look up tp, teachers,
television, internet and so on.
Your own wants and needs are your true nature.
We shouldn’t ignore our true nature, because it’s how we should live our lifes.
What makes us as happy and fulfilled as possible.
‘Geke why are you sitting on the bench?’ Asks my gym teacher to the 6 year old me.
‘I don’t like doing things others tell me to do and I want to quit gym’ was my simple answer.
I could never do things when others wanted me to do it. I suddenly felt myself not wanting it anymore
and rebelling against it.
Still I always found myself living up to what is expected.
I didn’t have a voice. The young me was shy and this developed in social anxiety,
because I felt uncomfortable and judged when I was around people.
I was afraid to speak up and say what was on my mind.
Behind all of that I very much had strong opinions, believes, dreams..
but different than most other kids and grown ups
(does this sound familiar to you? I know I’m not the only one).
It was one of the reasons I couldn’t speak up and had problems with really developing my
own wants and needs.
Over the years I showed this in all kinds of ways, but not with my voice.
I dressed different, I listened to different music, I liked to spend my time different,
rebelled against the things all teen girls were starting to like. Still I tried to fit into a certain group.
At one point all of this changed and I just went with the flow. Just did what was expected.
And it followed with depressions.
These depressions made me think and made me reflect on the ‘why?’.
It takes time and it takes (life) experience to get to the point when you know who you actually are.
What makes it easier is when you don’t let others have influence on you, but in the society we live
in it’s almost impossible.
I’m not afraid anymore, I have a voice, I speak up, I am myself, the choices I make are not based
on what is expected.
Now I’m finding myself and now I’m starting to know what I want.
The things I want are things that suit my personality, likes and believes.
What helped me in this process and could be of help for you:
-talk with like minded people
-surround yourself with people(and things) that give you positive vibes and find out who/what
gives you negative vibes. Try to be around them as less as possible.
-try to always have your focus on the positive and not on the negative. Find the smallest positive
things in everything you do, see and experience. Maybe make a gratitude book?
-read fitting books (the power of now, the law of attraction, quiet: the power of introverts,
furiously happy..you name it! I have a PDF from some of the books, feel free to ask me for it )
-the same goes for movies, tv shows, documentaries..
-Reflect on why you’re feeling a certain why
-realize that what is expected(even when YOU expect it) might not be the best thing for your happiness
-know that it’s oke to not know, doesn’t matter where you are in life. Take your time!
-take enough ‘you time’ and make relaxing a rule
I just know this is not all and it’s hard to say what ‘does the trick’, but if you try to do all of these
things.. you will come a long way!
And let me tell you..we will search for things to want our entire lives!
Don’t make a certain decision your only one. Maybe at one point you want something entirely different, just do it!
For example.. a job! Don’t think about everything you had to do to get that one job.
If it doesn’t make you happy anymore, change your course.
We only have one life so better make the best of it!